A simple plan of the conversation:
- Listen to their complaint;
- Explore their deeper feelings;
- Discuss if and how they want to take their complaint forward;
- If appropriate, make a referral.
Listening
Listen with openness to what the person is saying. Try not to be defensive. If you can 'weather' their feelings, they will feel safe with you, and it will be a gift to them.
Listen to the feelings beind the complaint. Let people 'vent' their feelings. Probably no one else has listened in this way to them until now. Often this is enough and no more action needs to be taken.
Try to imagine how you would feel in their situation, and reflect upon whether to share this with them.
Listen with two ideas in your mind
- The Feelings: The patient will naturally be distressed by being ill and having to be in hospital.
Often a complaint is a mask for very valid feelings and upset at their situation.
It is important to hear the cry of distress behind the complaint:
- Loss: of freedom, identity, control, agency, illusions about life;
- Fear, Hurt, Anger: at what life is throwing at them;
- Sadness and Grief: at loss;
- Powerless, helpless, hopeless being and out of control.
- The Complaint: The patient may have a valid complaint and may wish for their concerns to be referred on.
- Do they want to complain?
- How you can help them? (It’s not up to you to make the complaint though you may want to help to organise getting people together.)
- Remember to ask their permission before making a referral.
In your mind, hold a balance between these two possibilities. Indeed, both may be true.
Listen to the feelings behind the complaint
We quite naturally want someone to blame, but in illness there maybe no one to blame. Illness is simply part of life. Part of our job as chaplaincy volunteers is to give a listening ear to these feelings, and to say in word and attitude that it is ok to feel these things. Sometimes this is enough to deflect someone from a complaint. There's no need to be defensive; no need to argue: just really listen and affirm the other person’s world.
Making a referral
Discuss if and how they want to take their complaint forward.
If they do want to complain, these are some options available to you:
- You way wish to talk to the ward sister on the patient’s behalf.
- Ask a Chaplain to visit.
- PALS (Patient Advice and Liaison Service)
- Counselling may be on offer (e.g. from the Mulberry Centre for anyone affected by cancer).
- Discharge Liaison Team
- Social Services
- Complaints Department
Remember to ask for permission before making a referral.
Sometimes it is possible to have a word with ward staff to voice your concerns about a patient. You may not need to seek the patient’s permission for this if you are only voicing your own concerns and not revealing what has been told to you.
Supervision
Don't forget: supervision is always available from one of the chaplains, should you wish to talk about a sitiuation. Find out more about it in the page on supervision
